When You Can, Cuddle

Cuddling is a scarce thing for me and my husband these days. We practice bedsharing, and the tiniest member of our family takes up the most space, usually between us, not leaving a lot of room for cuddling with my man.

But last night, we were forced to do so because the little guy was taking up 2/3 of our queen-sized bed, leaving only the edge for us. As Niki and I snuggled into our little space, we tried to find the most comfortable position that didn’t involve breathing all night long into each other’s faces. His heavy arm rested on my hip bone, which made me slightly pleased to know that my hip bone could still jut out like that and wasn’t hidden under massive layers of jiggly jell-o.

Anyway, our contorted situation made me think about how we used to be when we were younger. We weren’t big on PDA, but boy did we like to cuddle when it was just the two of us- during movies, car rides, nap times. And when we weren’t cuddling, we were subtly touching in one way or another, holding hands, hand on arm, foot on foot, elbow to elbow, knee to knee – you get the point.

However, these days I get so touched out that by the time the day ends, all I want is personal space. I’m a work-at-home, breastfeeding mom so you can imagine how often my son requires me. Milk, eating, bathing, sleeping, playing – i’m being touched aaaaaaall day long and by bedtime i’m exhausted and needing a time out. Sometimes, even sitting too close to each other on the couch is too much.

But last night, squeezed into our tiny little space, feeling my husband breathe deeply and watching my son sleep peacefully, I realized that touch helps connect us. That’s why we need hugs to survive, we shake hands to seal deals, kiss to begin relationships– physical touch is what reminds us that this person beside us is real and present. It’s the one way we can share things that words can’t define.

So when you’re feeling out of it, a little blue, or maybe disconnected from the one you love (or the world)- touch, hug, cuddle. It’s a great way to refresh, to release and share energy, and remind yourself that you are alive.

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