Oh yeah, poop was everywhere alright. Especially the first couple of months when he would poop 4-5 times a day. And when he was feeling extra special, up to 8 times a day.
I got poop on my thighs, under my nails, on my belly, on my arms, all over my shirt, all over my shorts, on the couch, in the bed, on the car seat, in his sling– where his little butt landed, poop would get to it.
Oh but it wasn’t just poop folks. There was spit-up too. In my hair, on our shirts, our backs, all over the car floor. Seriously, those little babies can expel a motherload of fluids. I did not wear anything nice the first three months because I knew it was going to get ruined! Not that I had the energy for looking nice anyway.
But you know, it ends. They eventually learn to burp themselves, and pooping lessens significantly. It doesn’t get any less messy, mind you, especially when solid food comes in. But you do get really good at cleaning up and anticipating messes. You become a lot less anal about things getting sticky and finding mushy graham crackers in your hair. Eventually nothing grosses you out, and you can start wearing nicer clothes because you’re now awesome at dodging flying food.
And then that little squirmy lump starts to change quickly. First he’s on his tummy, worming around and reaching for things. And then he’s on his back scooting from one corner of the bed to the other. And then there’s rolling over and over and over which turns into a leapfrog of sorts and one day they’re crawling towards you, with a silly grin and drool on the chin. As if that wasn’t quick enough, suddenly that little person is standing up, cruising your furniture, getting into your underwear drawer, playing under the dining table, turning over all the toys.
You close your eyes for a bit, because you’re oh-so-exhausted from the late nights due to teething or gas or overstimulation or cognitive developments or what have you. So you lean back and close your eyes for a bit, but you’re going to wish you didn’t because by golly gee, when you open your eyes that little rascal is walking.
oh, nope, no, he’s running. Dear God, there is running happening in the house. A lot of running and falling and bumping and when did it happen that you suddenly have a toddler?
A one-year-old, silly, crazy, hyperactive, inquisitive, needs-to-get-into-everything toddler.
And just like that, your first year as a new mom is over.
There was nothing glamorous about it. In fact, there was a lot of ugly crying – in the bathroom, in the bedroom, on the couch, in the car – the type of crying where snot rolls down your face but you don’t care because you’re too tired and it’s too hard. It’s too hard, I can’t do this. Man if I had a peso for every time I said that, i’d totally be wearing new MAC lipstick right now (so, basically, a thousand times).
Thankfully, I didn’t go through that first year alone. The grace of God is infinite, my family is so supportive, my friends are amazingly understanding, and my husband – oh my dear, poor husband who received the brunt of my frustrations – he is the reason why I haven’t gone insane. And here we are, year-old parents with so much to learn and somehow, still so much to give.
The first year of parenthood is full of poop folks, don’t take that lightly. But it’s also full of the reasons why life is worth living. You are going to laugh like you have never laughed before, especially when your kid learns to play with you. You are going to experience heaven every time you sniff his head, his armpits, his milky breath. I know that sounds gross but trust me — babies are made of unicorn farts and rainbow glitter. They smell AH-MA-ZING.
You are going to realize that your heart is so much bigger than you thought it was, with so much love, and patience, and grace. You’re going to rediscover your capability to give when you have nothing left, and your superhuman ability to function on 3 hours of sleep broken up into 5 chunks.
You’re also going to notice the sweetest, simplest things. Like how his hair is so soft, and how it fluffs so gently when you twirl him around. You’ll see every tooth grow bigger and stronger everyday, how his little toes curl every time he steps on a new texture, how his chest rises and falls when he’s sleeping so deeply. You’re going to fall in love folks. And it’s going to be the kind of love that you have never felt before, and it will never stop.
That’s what our first year has been like. Elon has brought so much love and change and amazement into our existence. Everything i’ve ever done, everything i’ve ever been through – it’s all worth it because it brought me to my husband, and it gave us him.
Happy birthday little buddy. Thank you for making us parents. Thank you for changing our hearts. I am so excited for how the world will change because you are in it, how you will affect the people around you, the things you will love and accomplish. And don’t worry, i forgive you for all the poop.
Happy first birthday, honey. We love you to the moon and back and back again.