If there was one thing I wish I knew now, it’s how to balance how much of yourself to give. The problem (okay, one of many) with being such an intense person is I don’t know how to ration myself sometimes. And so when I am given a role or a job that I so badly want to excel in, I throw myself so wholeheartedly into it that I often find myself burnt out, exhausted and a crying, heaping mess when I realize I can’t do it all.
So, this motherhood-wife thing. Well, hot damn. I knew it was going to be tough, but I didn’t know it was going to be soul-crushing at times. I pour out so much of myself all day long that I often have nothing left for myself. I know it comes with time and practice, but I wish I knew how to pace my self. How to love on myself enough so that I don’t end up feeling like I’ve got nothing left to give. My son deserves a sane, loving mama, not an exhausted, impatient one. But I have to admit, I’m tired, and I wish I could go somewhere for a refill right about now. Something needs to change soon.