Running On Fumes

If there was one thing I wish I knew now, it’s how to balance how much of yourself to give. The problem (okay, one of many) with being such an intense person is I don’t know how to ration myself sometimes. And so when I am given a role or a job that I so badly want to excel in, I throw myself so wholeheartedly into it that I often find myself burnt out, exhausted and a crying, heaping mess when I realize I can’t do it all.

So, this motherhood-wife thing. Well, hot damn. I knew it was going to be tough, but I didn’t know it was going to be soul-crushing at times. I pour out so much of myself all day long that I often have nothing left for myself. I know it comes with time and practice, but I wish I knew how to pace my self. How to love on myself enough so that I don’t end up feeling like I’ve got nothing left to give. My son deserves a sane, loving mama, not an exhausted, impatient one. But I have to admit, I’m tired, and I wish I could go somewhere for a refill right about now. Something needs to change soon.


2 thoughts on “Running On Fumes

  1. hisaac says:

    Hiiiii 🙂 I realise my comment is days late. But the emotions that are in this blog post are timeless. Asher is almost 4 years old and I still feel these very same things and go through them every now and then. I think that’s why God designed women to be sisters towards each other is because there is such a power when we come together and encourage one another.

    It’s really hard, this role we play. And most of the time, after we’re empty, there’s no place to get a refill. Except of course, heavenward. But I get you. Only by God’s grace do we ever rise above the physical lack of ability we often find ourselves in.

    You write so beautifully Kris. Keep it up. I maintain my blog vicariously through you haha. What I did not have the patience and perseverance to continue, I applaud in you. So many other mommas can benefit from just reading that someone else other than they are going through tough times.

    Love you!

    • Kris Isaac Flojo says:

      Hi ate hil! Thank you so much for the encouragement and for taking the time to read 🙂 The demands of parenthood are so intense! It is such a great comfort knowing God is always there, and sometimes even showing up through people like you. Love you!

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