How do people do it?

How do they invest so much in a friendship or relationship, and then just wake up one day and say, “Hey, i don’t feel like it anymore. Guess i’ll just go.”

Sometimes, you’re lucky if they even say anything. There are instances when you’re walking jovially down the street and then it hits you: you haven’t heard from your supposedly-friend-forever in 17 jillion years. How is it that you never even noticed? Or that your friend didn’t either?

In the past month, people have come to me with these very same thoughts/fears/issues. Some of them are depressed by the loss, others shrug it off and chalk it up to the Life’s Just Like That category. Which one is better off?

I remember a scene in Before Sunset, where Celine says something about connections. When we were younger, we felt that there would be a surplus of people we can really connect with, but as we grow old we discover that they’re so far and few in between. In the back of our heads we know this, and yet why are we so nonchalant about letting these connections go?

I understand when people just grow apart. It happens to lovers, it happens to best friends. Sometimes life takes you down such different paths that trying to stay together would make so little sense.

Sometimes though, someone just gives up. Someone decides that it just isn’t worth it. In some cases there are so many reasons why, and in others, there’s none at all. Nothing. It just didn’t work out, that’s it. That’s all there is to it.

I guess the best we can do is hope and pray that we invest in the right people: The ones who won’t let you go, and the ones who’ll run after you, if you ever try to walk away. There won’t be many, but they’ll be permanent. And that’s what counts.


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